Writing for Fun: Who Puts Those...?

• Who puts those "Thin Ice" signs out there anyway?
• Why are they called apartments if they're all stuck together?
• Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
• If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
• Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
• Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
• Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
• Why is there no other word for synonym?
• Why do they report power outages on TV?
• Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
• If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
• Why is the word abbreviation so long?
• When companies ship styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
• When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
• Why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham?
• If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth?
• If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
• How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same?
• Why is it that when a house burns up, it burns down?
• Why do you get in and out of a car, but get on and off a bus.
• When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.