It's hard enough to write properly in English, but the quirks of our language make it even harder for non-native writers; sometimes with hilarious results.
Tailor shop in Greece: Order your summer suit now. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
A Thailand dry cleaning service points out: Drop your trousers here for best service.
In an Athens hotel: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between 9 and 11 a.m. daily.
A Norway hotel: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
A Rome laundry suggests: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
The water in Mexico may be questionable in some places, but an Acapulco hotel assures its customers: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
A sign on a steep trail in China warns: Those who suffer from high blood pressure, mental disease, horrifying of heights or liquor heads are refused.
An early Japanese motorcycle manual: HORN-BUTTON - Tootle horn melodiously at the dog who shall sport in roadway. If he continue, tootle him with vigour.
But we don't have to pick on only on those who write English as a second language.
A job ad in Kirsty Powell's Canadian pub: Required: person to come in twice a week to wash dishes, and two waitresses.
Alarming account of confused amorousness on the CNN website: Sharka, a two-ton white rhino, got amorous with Dave Alsop's car when he stopped to take pictures of the animal mating with his partner Gloria at the West Midland Safari Park.
A news release from the government makes one wonder in how many places a man might die: Flags should be lowered to half-staff on Tuesday, January 13 and Wednesday, January 14, 2004 to honor former Court of Appeals Judge Gary McDonald who has died at the following locations: Provincial Courthouses, Libraries, Administration Buildings, Detention Centres.
Music lovers in Guilford, Vermont are tough. The Friends of Music reported a recent event in their newsletter Continuo: The lunch was delicious and folks munched away merrily on folding chairs.
The fine print on a U.S. CD case promises: Unit automatically becomes portable when carried.
I’m still not sure what to do after reading this sign on a London train bridge: Do not alight here pass through the train.
And, from the North Shore Times, Sydney Australia, This Isn't What We Intended Department: Bowels might not be the topic of polite conversation ordinarily, but doctors are hoping this week they'll be on the tip of everyone's tongue.
