Writing for Grammar: Who Versus Whom.

Although both pronouns, there is usually a clear distinction regarding the usage of who or whom.

Who is a subject; whom is an object.

Since both are pronouns, they take the place of people in a sentence. The subject of the sentence is the one doing, and the object of the sentence is the one having something done to him or her or them.

For example, if I tell Jake, then I am the subject and Jake is the object. If Jake tells me, Jake is the subject and me is the object.

Subjects are easy: Who said that? Who went with you? Who should chair the committee? Always use who as a subject of a sentence.

Some objects are also easy: The committee subpoenaed whom? Jake told whom? But with objects, sometimes the tricky part is turning the question (Q) back into a statement (S) to determine subject and object.

Q. Whom did you call?
S. You did call whom.

Q. Whom should we ask?
S. We should ask whom.

The weird part is that you have to turn the sentence inside out to determine what should be in the sentence in the first place.

So, it is, "Whom did you tell?" if you are asking about my tendency to gossip.

Here's a tip from Grammar Girl. Like whom, the pronoun him ends with m. When you're trying to decide whether to use who or whom, ask yourself if the answer to the question would be he or him. That's the trick: if you can answer the question being asked with him, then use whom, and it's easy to remember because they both end with m.

For example, if you trying to ask, "Who (or whom) do you love?" The answer would be "I love him." Him ends with an m, so you know to use whom.

But if you are trying to ask, "Who (or whom) called?" the answer would be, "He called." There's no m, so you know to use who.